I've got the joy... joy... joy... joy, down in my heart...
It wasn’t an easy choice.
I remember being afraid mention it out loud. Did I really want what I was asking for? I wasn’t ignorant. I knew the cost, the sacrifices I would have to make. Yet, I began having dreams. A flame I thought was snuffed out long ago began to flicker in my heart. Excitement started to surface. However anxiety of the unknown would continually overpower any hope of lasting happiness.
Our family raised almost $300 to purchase brand new gifts. We called the homeless shelter and asked for the ages and gender of the kids who were there. We then took our girls to Kohl's. They each picked a couple kids and had to hand pick presents. Our daughter's learned how little $300 really was when it came to purchasing power for Christmas gifts. We used coupons and sale prices to shop smart. The reality kicked in quickly once they had to make choices for people they had never met before.
In all actuality, there are so many terms they call it: “special needs”, “handicapped”, “mental retardation”, “physically impaired”, and a few other contrite names. All are accurate in description. This rhetoric is suppose to make us feel better. In essence, it is used so as not to offend. We even define legal language around it to become politically correct. However, no matter the label used, no one person can be defined by one simple term. For example, to simply call me “a mother” would be to oversimplify me. It only describes one facet of who I am. The same can be said of my son. He is so much more than his condition.
She may dance and sing and twirl inside.
She may laugh and giggle and not be shy inside.
She is silly, frilly, and smiley inside.
She is wild and free and delighted inside.
It is important for you to know,
We did not walk out on you or let you go.
Love prevails all of the time,
And even though you are theirs, you are also mine.
We are going to chose faith over fear.
We know in the end it will all work out, my dear.
“Perfectionism”, this unattainable yet infectious complex, spreads like infected cells. The consuming, pseudo reality plays itself out for humanity, especially in our culture’s ideology. The presumptuous intellect knows best. Each individual creates their own internal infrastructure with the assistance of nature, nurture, and social factors. I myself developed an idealistic persona in my mind. A person I desired to be, but could not attain.